Confessions of a Tech Noob and other Random, Scattered Thoughts

Anyone who knows me well understands that I have a large, paranoia style fear of water. Lakes, rivers, oceans, pools, and waterfalls just to name a few. The first day I walked through the doors of Cheeky Monkey, I realized one very real, very terrifying fact. I was about to dive headfirst into the biggest pool I had ever encountered. The tech pool. And I didn’t even have a floaty.

Again, anyone who knows me well, understands that I only speak one language, which isn’t really even English. Some call it “Treenese”, or “Trenglish”, but you get the picture. Within fifteen minutes of being in the office, one thing was abundantly clear…Tech people also do not speak normal English, and I couldn’t understand a word they said. Was it completely necessary to talk in abbreviations that flew around the office so fast, that all I heard was Charlie Brown’s teacher? To make matters worse, all those caught in the Web world don’t even realize that they speak in code. Pun intended.

I have a “simple is as simple does” goal. Create my own “geek” translator. And maybe a transmogrified, like in Calvin and Hobbes. That would be awesome. Just saying. With it being code N’ no clue season, I have my work cut out for me. There are no pills or prescriptions that can help me fight this viral outbreak of Techitis. Perhaps there is a cream for that. I dunno. Work on translations is beginning…let’s see if I am the mistress of my own stupidity, and if I have the ability to “dumb down” their language into my own speech.